the Dune 2007

Saturday was a busy day. Long ago planned trip to somewhere was finally made real. From lots of places to go, we picked up the seaside, but not the noisy Palanga or port Klaipeda. It was decided to go to Kuršių Nerija: a piece of land surrounded by Baltic Sea from west shore and Kurshes' sea:
(a thin place surrounded by water).
The landscape there is really unique. And even if you have seen many images, coming there is really worth it - because none photo can express the beauty of nature there.
Still some snapshots from the trip:

kursiu_nerija

Controlling 2 computers with one mouse and keyboard

If you happen to have a spare computer then putting it to the cellar seems a bit extreme option. But even if you find what to do with extra hardware, it will always be troublesome to switch the work to other computer. Either by connecting to it remotely or working with it directly(meaning to having another workplace: table, chair). Even if you manage to place both computers on one desk, having 2 keyboards and mouses is space consuming. Unless you don't have those computers connected in one LAN you can always use Synergy to control both of them with one mouse and keyboard. Just point your mouse to the next monitor and you are already controlling your other computer! That way you can setup lots of systems and very different ones: windows, macs and linuxs. And then you can enjoy accessing all your computers very simply. That's how my system looks like:

Actually, this is not 3 computers connected with synergy, only 2. 2 monitors are connected to the same computer: very convenient when browsing and coding, or watching movie and browsing or other combination of actions:)

reinventing the spam

I like when terms of computers in any language are clear. But unfortunately, any language than English causes problems when naming process or thing related to computers. There are two sides: people who are working with computers and people who don't. First ones think that there is no need to translate such terms and leave them as it is (or at least the most part of this word resembles the English version). At least it is easier to understand. Other people who are not working with computers have neither seen them in their life and never used them (what is becoming very rare). Some of them have ambitions to translate computer terms to their native language. If they would translate them by keeping the meaning, I think no one would mind. But of course, due to their lack of computer knowledge and working practice, they perform this task (not really task, just an ambition) quite interesting. I believe the method they are using for building such words must be quite impressive, as the results are so. Actually, the result of such process is nonsense. It's rather strange that they back up their position and results with "preserving the native language". How can they preserve the parts of languages which are not ancient, but evolving right now? How on earth they could think of, that inventing some stupid word would preserve the language's integrity? Why there is a need to build such words, when they already are named as they are and everyone understands their meaning?
The most recent invention is for word "spam". It won't make no sense to list its equivalent in Lithuanian, as the level of stupidity would be understandable for those who understand Lithuanian quite well. But I'm more than furious right now. For years "spam" was spam, and now it becomes a strange word meaning something being poked or thrust. And how people writing about computers can put such words in their articles?

Coding pleasure

Have you ever experienced satisfaction while coding? Maybe concrete language makes you feel that way when you code using it? Well, one should say: "Of course, I am programmer, any kind of coding makes me feel that" or something similar. That might be true. In rare cases. But usually, some languages are closer to the heart than others, and some solutions make your hair stand, while others are real blessing to code. And that's true because:
1. not all design of software is great
2. everyone has a different taste
If to talk about taste, for example, I enjoy coding Java and not that much C++. Probably it's a case of subconsciousness or psychological factor based on my experiences, but I can't really tell why I like one more than other. I just do.
The funniest thing is that, I earn my bread and butter(hopefully that one too) coding C++. Irony of fate, one should say. Probably. But for those who think how much I "not enjoy" my work and how little interest there is for me in my job, I have to say this I don't hate C++. I try to think about tasks by passing this language level. It's not that language that is enjoying in this case, it's the task you have to accomplish. There is always a part of boring things in it, and a part of interesting things. If you want it to look boring and uninteresting, then it becomes so. And if you try to find something that "drives" you and gives you satisfaction, then it is too. That's my source of motivation. I think.
But this post is a bit off topic now. There is other kind of programming languages. That makes you experience quite nice feelings while using it(don't think anything erotic there). Just take a look at lolcode. Before that, you should know what lol, pwnd, btw, kthx and etc is. It is advisable to get to know to such "terminology" before exploring lolcode. I'd enjoy using this language. Even in projects which are not so great. Extra portion of vitamin c is always welcome.

major blackout

And it happened again. Whole quarter was left without power for 1 hour or more. Office was left without power too. Quite a coincidence, that I just made my cup of coffee (ok, coffee machine made it, but still) and it went off. Almost at lunch time. probably, not that bad if it happens during work hours, but fore example, if you go to eat somewhere near, where the meal is made in electric oven, then it's not very pleasant experience.
Imagine an office where everything is powered by electricity: you can't make coffee, you can't warm your food in microwave and you even can't use your computer! Besides that, electronic dart board is not working. Only primitive forms of entertainment (what kind of work would be possible?) are available, like cards, table soccer and chess. Well, chess is not very primitive and I don't mind playing it. Of course, I mind loosing. On the other hand: I got like 10 minutes, at the end of those, I start doing mistakes, then my time is over and I am still playing, but the situation is ruined - it's not very interesting to keep playing it, the options that are left - some sacrifices hoping the opponent is not skillful enough. But as I play first time and I don't know that, it's quite risky to perform such actions (it would be better to call them "attempt to deceive"). Probably, I'll have to start thinking few more steps further.
And in this post you observed, how a topic was changed from power blackout to chess tactics.

thoughts of melting brain

Mother Nature likes extremes. Suddenly it's raining like in late autumn, then it is so warm. Definitely the hottest day of this summer, let's hope the last one so. It's good (still not sure about that) I realized this after I went after work home. About 6pm. Even being in the shade I thought it was a bit too warm ("a bit" is a pretty weak word to describe it). Imagine how warm it was not being in the shade. Like being in sauna. It's good that there is pretty good air conditioning at work, I even started sneezing.
It's really hard to use brain in this heat and write posts there.
At work I'm doing ok, wandering in the world of thousands mysterious functions and specifications. Some challenge.

The 15th of July: crumbs of history

In 1410 The Grand Duke Vytautas of Grand Lithuanian Principality (which was pretty large at that time from Baltic sea to the Black sea) with a help of Polish Army force defeated the Order of the Knights of the Cross which put the end to this Order and to it's so called crusade wars. Hurray!!! This battle was called "Žalgirio mūšis" (English: Battle of Grunwald) as it took place near Grunfeld, Tannenberg and Ludvigsdorf villages. It's being said that is was big fight as casualties were from 15000-50000 (you have to forgive that time historic channels for their accurateness in numbers, but in any case that's a lot of dead people).
You can imagine what psychological power the word "Žalgiris" has for any lithuanian. That's why we name anything we can by this word: basketball teams, football teams, stadiums, beer and vodka.
Not so long ago, like in 1933 two brave men from Lithuania Steponas Darius and Stasys Girenas decided to make a flight on a small plane named "Lituanica" from New York to Lithuania. They took of on the 15th of July in that year. They made it through Atlantics ocean (which was a first official post flight through Atlantics) but never reached native country.
These dates are not a national holiday there but one of those that makes us proud being lithuanians.

Minor blackout

Imagine a day without electricity. It doesn't have to be a major blackout, just a minor failure of electric circuit preventing you from using all electric household stuff and ... your computer. I started to realize that this is going to come true after electricity wiring started to sparkle and make some scary noise (after i tried to turn on my laptop). Well, usually orderly wiring doesn't start to act like that for sure, but it's a long story why it is out of this orderly state.
So, what to do all day without any electric device? In summer(when the weather is nice) probably it's not a big problem - it's a gift of fate to come out and look at the sun and make sure there is no nuclear war outside. Or you can act like a tourist which came to this town and try to see all the interesting stuff(it's funny but usually people don't know and haven't seen all the sightseeings of the town they live in).
Probably, a day without electricity is not enough to die of boredom or hunger for computers. If you are not really that geek or computer dependent and a social person(meaning you have at least person you communicate not with a help of computer), this is not a problem for one day, maybe two.
But what about electricity disappearing for a longer period of time? This makes us people working with computers especially vulnerable: both psychologically and socially. There is no use of software developer if there is no electricity, right? You can't write applications on paper and try to compile them in that format...(though I remember in first course we were writing programming tests on paper(as the code)).
Luckily, that vision (that one about electricity disappearing for longer time) not going to happen (probably). There is just a small chance of nuclear war or alien attack to happen (really).

"Death proof"

Of course, it's coming a bit late to our theaters. If you like Quentino Tarantino movies, must see it. Simple, stylish and with happy ending(not fairy-tale type happy ending).
It casts a spell with interesting dialogs on you for a while and then suddenly the action. Shocking. Some scenes are brutal, but not scary. At the end you end up laughing from all the violence.
Can't tell more - it's a must see, even greatest skeptics and those who don't like horror, thriller and crime as the keywords for movie description were satisfied at the end.
Can't wait for second part to appear (at cinema of course).

P.S. Movie name is in the post's title.

Blending iPhone

Noooooo!



Seriously, this is the most pointless act of destruction.

Guess this tune

What sings like Bjork but is not Bjork? Well, I don't know, but here is the story.
Yesterday on my way to work I was listening to iPod radio and heard this song. Of course, there was no one on radio to tell what was the performer and what was song's title. It sounded like Bjork, but the tempo was a bit faster than in usual her songs. And why isn't it Bjork? I spent up to 3 hours listening to all Bjork songs on YouTube and didn't find this one.
I'm pretty sure it was not the first time I heard this song. It's not brand new, might be couple years old - imagine how many songs were created during that period of time! I can recall few words from song (it's Bjork like, so it's hard to capture the words in song), but Google couldn't find anything, neither other lyric search engines. I'm desperate. Please, help me find it! Or I'll start writing e-mails to all radios, that I could listen at that time... Or I'll have to hack into their databases (Somebody stop me).
I'm on drugs(nah, it's not what you thinking, I'm on medicine) couple last days because of unbearable pain that my wisdom tooth causes (bastard). I even went to tooth surgeon. And he told me to take more medicine and then he'll say if I should rid of extra tooth.
So, I'm angry and desperate.

Monday mix

It's been a week since I started working at new place, but I'm not sure if I can make any conclusions during that short period of time. But still:
- Does it seem harder? Yes, but that's what I wanted (how do they call those people?)
- Do I miss old place? Yes, but not that much as first days (Sorry, guys...). I still remember everyone, but it's not that hopelessly sad anymore. Probably, it will be impossible to forget, as we have soccer game scheduled every Tuesday ( if(!rain) && (!storm)).

My mind is confused with 3 different version control systems: VSS(Visual source safe), CVS and SVN. Definitely there is no point is using them all, but there are cases when one has advantage against another version control system. Not in my opinion, but to some smart folks out there in internet, VSS is loosing very much vs.CVS . although the difference between CVS and SVN is not that big. And the experience using either of these really depends on tools You use, even very good version control system with bad tools can be annoying, but some "features" can't be fixed even with the best tools. And it's hard to say if I have my personal favorite: with VSS I have most client-side experience, with SVN I have most administrating experience and with CVS I have tried lots of GUI 's until I ended up using it with command-line arguments.

One friend asked me to setup or build a DKP system. Seems like nothing worthy to setup. Probably I'll train my cakePHP skills baking a new one(for impatient ones, real beauty of baking php sites starts there).

Other important news: The Earth is about 5 cm's smaller.

ideas on social software

The psychosis for social content on the internet is gaining its acceleration. Blogs, social networks, portals and other means for building virtual relationships. Are there so many lonely people sitting in front of computers? Or are there other reasons that drive people to build as many virtual links as possible? Of course, distance looses its meaning in internet. Even the perception of time changes - you can travel back in history (as back as internet allows).
What I'm more interested in is what are the possibilities of social content: what forms it can gain and what benefits it can bring to user? Now it seems that everything is tried out: blogging, linking, digging, tagging, feeding and it's impossible to invent something new, except the synthesis of all these techniques. I also wonder, are these things being created because of demand and need for such services or for profit. Ok, one may say, that everything is for profit nowadays, but probably I'm one those few people who think, that things can be done for the sake of idea. Sure, it doesn't pay bills, but it gives satisfaction, with which you can go and do not so pleasant job to stay alive (that idea a bit contradicts my personal beliefs, but it is acceptable in case it's impossible to combine ideas(and satisfaction) with job).
And for the final idea, what is the price of being a part of social-virtual network? Easy guess - privacy and anonymousness, but isn't it a bit too pricey? Probably, everyone has a personal scale for paying what he gets there.

video for mum music

I really can't hold myself from posting this thing I found in YouTube - a very very nice and fresh video for mum music. It's not official, it's not professionl, though it looks like that. There really aren't that much videos for the works of this band. And in this case it's good combination of music and view(if you like ambient and IDM music style):

Killing a time

It's been raining from the morning. The rain drops have been nervously touching the surface of window's glass. Sometimes harder, sometimes weaker. It's good not to sit in a boat in a middle of lake and keep rowing it. The water below, the water above. On the other hand, it's sad that weather conditions can ruin the weekend so easily. But what's ruined, that's ruined. Nothing can be helped, but just another headache how to spend a weekend meaningfully. Outside activity is not an option. And the options left are not so much:
- movies
- books
- games

At 9 o'clock pm I ran out of movies (to be more concrete: series of Criminal Minds), there really has to be a movie to fit the mood of this weather, are there? At least I have joost as last option.
I ran out of book supply too. Not today. Few weeks ago. There is one book I could read, but I can't force myself with that. I can't force myself to read this book already 2 years. I call it "preparing myself" for this book. And e-books is not an option. It's not cool to read a book from computer - how comfortable my laptop were, it just doesn't resemble the shape of book.
If you think that I left games as the last option on purpose and gonna tell how I spent my weekend gaming - well, that's not gonna happen. I quit gaming (should sound like "I quit smoking", if it doesn't try to imagine:) ). Yes, it was my sin and a waste of my time. And I quit gaming not today (for comparison to "I quit smoking 3 hours ago").
Some probably can't imagine how you can spend hours running in virtual world and doing quests there or other stuff. Some can't even imagine playing counter-strike-like or quake-like games on lan (but it's really a good way to get rid of stress). And they even can't imagine killing time with minesweeper or solitaire (and I should mention there, that this is really a bad way to kill time, even worse, than to waste it with mmorpg or first-person-shooter). And for those, who can't imagine all this, it's meaningless to explain what benefits do you get by playing this stuff. Is it fun? Yes. Does it involve? It certainly does. And if you will ask, what do get there, there might be millions answers to it. One of them is, you can become what you'll never be in real world. A gnome or an elf or even a skeleton (ok, you may argue with this part, but I can assure, you won't remember anything from the experience of becoming a skeleton). In the other words, it employs your imagination and lets you experience the feeling of discovering fantasy worlds.
And it's not that bad thing if you don't abuse it. If you manage to keep social relationships, responsibilities at family and at work and keep up with your studies. You may ask, is it hard to combine all this stuff. It's yes and it's not. I have seen the lives of course mates drowning in this gaming activity and I've seen who managed to combine all this, or maybe the ones who are near to them managed to do this.
The morale of this story is: gaming is a bad way to waste your time, but at least it keeps your lungs healthy:)

cooking PHP cake

Some time ago one ex-coworker mentioned about cakePHP - a rapid web application development framework. Finally, I dedicated half of my day to find out what this thing really does and is it really good. I can't say, that I already know everything about it (there always will be stuff to learn).
The technology is really pretty simple to setup (independently on if you own web server or just have an account there). It employs the MVC pattern for viewing, storing and managing in other ways the data. Also it takes care about database management, making saving data or extracting it from database really painless (you don't have to look for db managers on your own, and even if you already have one, there is still a lot code to write, till you see the results). There is template system already there, so no need to integrate Smarty or other one into your project. When you code with phpCake it's really simple just to pay attention to business logics not the coding part as this one is pretty simple.
It's impossible to mention all the good things there and besides that I don't want to take that pleasure of discovering something good from you. A pretty good acquaintance by example would be to read this article. Bon appetite!

Hallucinating ideas

What does it take to start IT project? Ideas or money? Ideas and money? Or something else? There might be many opinions about this, and probably all of them would have their pros and cons. In my opinion, all you need to start an IT project is an idea and a strong belief that you can accomplish it. Well, only believing is not enough, there some actions have to be taken depending on if you have money or not. Do it yourself or hire someone else to do it. Even if I had loads of money, I would choose the first one - that way one can experience the joy of creating something (not for everyone that feeling is needed, and not everyone know how to code).
Even if you are a very good manager, one can't sell anything, at least not for everyone. Smart people won't buy crap unless they are fooled(and it's hard to fool smart people) or bound with other obligations. The idea doesn't have to be unique. However with unique idea it's more chances to draw attention.
One may say, that's very abstract thoughts. And one will be right. Think of it as an introduction or theoretical part of this blog entry. That's what we were doing instead of sleeping in tents before trip with kayaks - hallucinating ... generating ideas, which could draw an attention as an IT project.
First, we decided that probably we won't need to go world wide - of course, the temptation may be big, but it's harder to come up with unique solution for whole world, than for a region or country.
Then we tried to name some great online ideas and services, that somehow managed to attract people. My personal top 3 would be:
1. Google, but it's no point in creating "another google" and even if it were (some still may think so, I can argue, but I won't), I'd rather go work for Google, than compete with it. Not because of I couldn't manage to compete (it's not 100% I could manage), but because of respect to this company. If I'd to create a company one day, many things would be like in Google - but it's not the same as competing with it.
2. Skype. We argued if this solution was really unique when it appeared on the marked. Probably not. Before that, there was ICQ, Yahoo messenger and others with voice capability, but what did Skype brought to the IT world, that made it so popular?
3. And the third on the list is www.hallmark.com. It's totally different from the first 2: first one is a company with ideas, second is a software and hallmark is a service. I like the way it displays the information - it's really an art and what experience it brings to customers: always fun, always positive emotions. I especially like those hoops and yoyo e-cards.
But does our region needs another Google or Skype? Probably there would be place for another local e-card service, but still it's no unique. Not that much.
In this phase we tried to think, what kind of IT services are popular in our country. That was not hard - social networks and virtual relationships - possibility to be what You want to be and can't be in real life, find virtual friends. Not unique, but if you manage to cross this service with something else, you might come up with one.
It's not secret, that people care what their neighbors do. Not less interesting what totally strange people do, how they live, what's their daily routine. Take dozens of webcams, some volunteers to become internet stars and web server with big bandwidth. Build means(like social network) for visitors to communicate with each other and share the ideas about the taken footage. True, it's not unique, but every reality show has something totally different in it.
Another idea was to sell active recreation in Lithuanian village (more concretely at farm) with fun activities like milking a cow, cock the hay, look after and feed the cattle, etc. Less civilization as possible except the possibility to blog and capture all adventures spent there. Probably people from same country won't be interesting in this thing, but people from abroad, for whom such tasks seem exotic, might work.
At the last phase, we decided that all this was just a hallucination, as we were not executing those visions. So, probably, every vision is a hallucination first. And I have to admit, that the outcome of this discussion was affected by vine. Who knows what we could have come up to, after drinking something more strong.

spending an evening alone

My boyfriend is watching "Transformers" at cinema and I'm watching "Criminal minds" series.
And besides that my tooth(wisdom one) hurts again. One good thing it's no work tomorrow. National festival - day of state. And there is a Folk Song festival, maybe I should check that out tomorrow.

a trip postponed

Well well, seems like so long planned trip with kayaks will be canceled. And everything because of weather forecast. It's true that it have been raining pretty a lot recently there. And if to follow the pattern of the weather, it should be sunny tomorrow and rainy on Saturday and weather forecast is not that optimistic. Of course, rain can't be that frightening. But we have experienced same trip with kayaks 2 years ago. Maybe, we didn't pay that much attention to the weather forecasts that time, but we didn't expect such things or didn't expect that it will effect the trip so much. Shortly, that time we ended up under the bridge, all wet. Tents and sleeping bags were wet too. Bottle of vodka did its work to warm us a bit but not enough to continue the event. So, the trip ended 1 day earlier than planned.
Having this kind of experience, some might want to repeat this and some don't. We applied democracy rules and voted. Most was "No". Though I voted "no" too, it's sad a bit, that nothing gonna happen. There was suggestion to postpone the trip for the next weekend or even next month, but it's not likely that it's possible to get so much kayaks. We were in a queue for this weekend for more than a month. Possibly, all the places with them are already reserved for the end of the summer. It's not a must to do something which takes that long. Maybe, the same amount of adventure and impression just in a shorter time interval, like jumping of a plane ... with parachute. It's about time for that. After I finished my Bachelor studies, I made a bungee jump, parachute would fit with a Master degree, which I got not long ago.

what kind of job would it be

One thought topped to my head today - what kind of activity I'd really like to do - a feeling like You made a important move and gonna win right away - when all Your blood pumps to Your head. A constant state of victory. What kind of profession would give such experience? Bungee jumping, playing chess... My short life doesn't help me to name more and those I listed are doubtfully paid well enough (except the winning the championships of chess, which wouldn't be an easy task).

About value of Master Diploma

I got one too.
That may sound a bit puffed up, but it shouldn't. It's not big deal in our country(ayet another small country) to get a Master degree, You don't need much brain for that either. Almost anyone can enter the university (it's harder when You don't have money and brain, but if You have money, no brain is needed) and almost anyone can finish it holding a Bachelor or Master diploma in their hands. You have to be very very lazy if You can't achieve this. Now one may ask, what is the value of this paper, if it really is so easy to get. It's not totally worthless. For example, most subjects, You are forced to study, are a bit outdated and almost every student understands how "important" and "useful" this information is and especially how it can be applied in his work(if to take software development field). At this point, You must have a very strong willpower to study such things.
So, the Master diploma of Informatics is a certificate of willpower. Not bad. Such skills are needed at work, so You can go ahead and show it to Your employer.
They say, that it's the lack of funding which causes such quality of studies. But I don't believe that a better funding would change the situation right away.
Also, they say, that it's the problem in students only, that they don't want to study and broaden their knowledge and are always going the easiest way. Well, one may want to take a shortcut when studying outdated subjects. And at this point, I must say, that not all subjects are outdated, but the lecturers lack the ability to present that actual information to the students. And in very rare cases, the subjects are neither outdated nor the lecturers lack that ability. And You can't remain indifferent when You see an 80-year old professor having so much sparkle in his eyes when he talks about his subject. But as I mentioned it is a very rare case.
The funniest thing is that, if You post some objective guides about studies and subjects in university, the response from the concrete teaching facility may be not so positive. That's were the any possibility to communicate with university fails, it seems they are not willing to know any feedback from students.
I hope that the example I provided is not very common in other countries.

Adventures at new work place

Besides that fear, confuse and guilt I'm experiencing past few weeks, there are some interesting things too.
I almost overslept first day of work, but it seems that there are no strict rules for show up time - just to be before 10 a.m. That's manageable.
First day was a usual "sign-lots-of-papers" day. Besides that I was introduced to my working place. Half of company is on holidays, so it's pretty empty there, but still at least twice as more as in old place. I was assigned to room number 9, which is actually my "temporal" place. Someone told that "temporal" could take about 3-4 months. Humph, interesting scale of time. As much as I have seen all rooms are filled with 3-5 people which are grouped by a none-knows-how logic.
I was disappointed to get a crt monitor (poor fate of newcomer) - it's been more than year I have not used that one that much. That was the basic reason why I felt so tired during work and after work. Well, what can I do - I have bad eyes and these are getting worse every year. I can only hope, that when I get old, there will be at least some of my vision left - otherwise the old age without a computer would be a very uninteresting period of life.
Despite the monitor fact, the computer seemed quite ok - 2GB of rams, Pentium 4 3,4 GHz processor - even better than at home, but still it can't stand against my dual-monitor system. Dual-monitor is even better than dual-core processor because it enables Your brain (and other parts of body) to work parallel.
The kitchen space was quite advanced, besides the goodies we had in the old place: refrigerator, microwave, simple coffee machine, cold-hot water dispenser and a small tea-coffee shell, you can find there also a dish-machine, a big coffee-machine (which makes pretty tasteful coffee), electronic dart board, table-soccer game, chess and card games. They have an interesting concept of shared-stuff. The shared stuff covers cups and tea-coffee. If You don't want to share, then the tea and coffee has to be put to special shell (as for the cups, it's safest to keep them in a drawer), everything else is shared and none can make any complaints if someone else takes it. This policy seems ok to me, except the fact, I didn't get any bookcase or something with drawers in case I wanted to keep my stuff and cup there.
As regarding my work duties, I had a plan prepared what I will have to do first 2 weeks (as my pm is on holiday). At the moment nothing interesting - only lots-of-reading-and-installing-stuff.
What I miss mostly now is communication and view from the window.

making decisions.

It's funny how a decision which looked the most right one (weighing all pros and cons) - seems so doubtful after it is made. Why one shouldn't go work to a company which is in most aspects better than the one he is currently working at? I could list only one reason: stable environment and relationships with current colleagues - no need to adjust from the beginning, especially when a small work collective serves as the second family - 8 hours per day counts.
One should say, that the feelings one is experiencing at the new place are natural. So, why that little fear, confuse drive your thoughts back to the old place?
It's hard to have a choice. It would be easier to be fired or leave old place due to other reasons than to decide to leave on my own. It's not like I'm afraid to try out new things and take challenges - but some challenges are very hard psychologically - gain one thing, refuse another one, when you don't really want to refuse it (greedy human nature).
That's how the decisions I made for my career drives my crazy past few weeks.