Standing on a bridge railing I could feel fear creeping up to me and paralyzing my body and mind. I could feel wind blowing to my back. I could feel my legs trembling. In front of me there was a 40 meter depth flight path. - a wide, but not too deep river below my feet. Instantly thoughts of how could I ever step into the air with no solid background under my feet crossed my mind. One moment I was holding to instructors hand, another - I wasn't. He counted to three, but I paused before taking the step. I don't know which force pushed me of the railing - but I was in the air for a short moment. Then I felt the force of the rope stopping my flight. There I was swinging in the air on a long rope under the bridge, waiting for my rescue boat, still holding tight to my rope though I was perfectly safe at that moment.
There were moments in my life that required as much courage as this short leap. Maybe a lot more than this. Yes, I wasn't standing on a railing that high. And I didn't have any safe ropes, no safety instructions and risk agreement to sign. There was solid ground under my feet literally, but no assurance what will happen tomorrow. I do not regret taking any of those past leaps of the unknown - because of that I am where I am now, I saw and I did a lot more. No, I didn't become a better person (a better person is a very subjective opinion anyway). I just enjoyed life more. But past victories over your fear doesn't count, if you succumb to that fear in the future. You have to keep taking those leaps every day. To live life just standing on a bridge railing is a lot less exciting.
No comments:
Post a Comment